Why approach a lot of girls?

Imagine you’re in a room with a bunch of girls.

If you could magically suspend time and get to know each in turn, you know some you would like a lot, some a little, some not that much, some not at all.

One you would like the best.

It doesn’t matter if you’re looking for sex in the bathroom in ten minutes, a lifetime together with kids, or anything in between. One girl will match you best.

Even though you can’t magically suspend time, you still know you’d like them different amounts and one will match you best for what matters to you.

How do you get to know which one you like the most? You can look but not approach, but that only tells you about appearance and behavior you can see.

The best way I know of to find out what a girl is like is to interact with her. To talk, touch, tease, play, etc.

The girls you interact with you will learn something about. The girls you don’t interact with you will learn almost nothing about.

The question is this: do you want to find the girl that’s best for you?

If you talk to one girl, you have about a one percent chance of finding your best match. Well, it’s a little better than that since you can screen for appearance and overt behavior. Still, your chances are pretty low. And even if she does match you best, you’ll never know because you don’t know what you’re missing, so you’ll have self doubt that maybe a better girl is out there, which won’t help you or your relationship. Unless you have so low self-esteem that you’ll take anything. If you’re reading this blog, that’s not you.

If you talk to two girls, you have a slightly better chance of finding your best match and at least you can compare.

If you talk to and interact with every girl there, or at least the ones whose appearance and overt behavior attract you most, you have the best chance of finding your best match and knowing the others don’t match up.

It also means you’ll be rejected by a bunch of those girls.

Personally, I would far prefer ninety-nine rejections to know I have the best girl for me than “play it safe,” not get rejected, and never know. Risking a lifetime without the girls I want in my life is”playing it safe” in the moment only. I see not approaching girls as one of the riskiest things you can do in life.

If you think approaching lots of girls is important only for guys who want to sleep with lots of girls, think again. This effect becomes more important for longer relationships. The longer you’ll be with a girl, the more important you know she’s your best match, and the less important a few rejections are early on.

So if you want a girl for the night, you have to keep approaching until you find one.

If you want a girl for the rest of your life, don’t you think approaching enough girls for a short time now is worth it for someone you’ll spend the rest of your life with?

Side benefits

Approaching many girls has several side benefits too.

First, girls are cool and fun to talk to and flirt with. If you only talk to guys or no one you miss out on their company.

Second, sometimes when you’re looking for a long relationship you find a girl that matches you for a one night stand and you have a great night with her even though you weren’t looking. Sometimes when you’re looking for a one night stand you meet a girl you want to be with long term.

I can list plenty more, but the main idea is that if you love women, having them in your life is nice.

How to have girls thank you for giving you a blow job

[Another of my favorite posts to the 30/30 club. Join the club or get Brad P coaching for more advice, especially if you want coaching personalized for you. This post responded to a guy asking for blow job.]

My favorite part of a blow job is when she thanks me after. A girl thanks you when the blow job is rewarding for her, not that she’s doing something for you. For most guys this frame doesn’t make sense. Personally I like emotionally dominating her so blowing me is a reward for her being herself and letting her give in to her deepest carnal desires.

By far the most important part of letting a girl go down on you is the recognition of how much she wants to give pleasure and be in control of a guy she likes. You have to know it first, only then can you live it and bring her into your world — a world where blowing you is fun, sexy, and rewarding.

Stage 1

Frame her going down on you as something she wants, which starts by creating a non-judgmental tone where she can share what she likes, then opening the topic and listening.

I usually say something about how I bet she loves that how even though men are stronger than women, when she’s going down on me, she’s in control and can make me do what she wants.

I always presuppose she wants it. You know why? Because she does! She doesn’t necessarily want to blow any guy any time. She wants to give pleasure to a man who dominates her. She wants a cock in her mouth like you want breasts in your hands. You know how great breasts feel awesome? That’s how great a cock feels like in her mouth. Can you imagine a woman wishing you would grab her breasts and asking for it? Doesn’t make sense — you want it already. Same with her. She wants it already. If you ask for it you imply there’s something not worth wanting.

Stage 2

Now that you know what emotions and passions to connect the blow job to, you can initiate it physically while connecting it to her passions (you’ll frame your physical pleasure as a side effect).

Hint at it mostly physically, partly verbally. My favorite is to look her in the eye, put my fingers to her lips as if to put a finger inside, and say “I bet I know what you want” or something like that. When I’m hard, I put her hand on it, even through jeans standing in public (though not drawing attention to it, I’m not trying to embarrass her), and say “Now look at what you did. I know your plan, but it won’t work with me.”

The vibe here is playful, sexual, and implying she and the act of giving head are strong and powerful and you are her prey. You’re still controlling the interaction, so you’re still dominant. She’s playing the role you gave her, which is something she likes.

Stage 3

At some point she will express that she likes giving blow jobs because you’ve been open, playful, and friendly about it and framed it as something she benefits from. Once she says that, you do two things: reinforce that she likes it for herself (and not for you) and you pace her.

Reinforce that she likes it by saying things like “I know you like it”, “I know you want it”, or “I bet you can’t wait for it”. Pace her by saying things like “You haven’t earned it yet” or “I don’t think you can handle me/it” or “Not yet, babe”. Stuff like that. Then change the subject so it lingers on her mind and you don’t seem like you want it as much as she does.

Also, always reward any expression of desire on her part with attention. The best is to show it. When she touches your cock, even through jeans, or sucks your finger when you put it near her mouth, close your eyes, lean your head back a touch, and moan a little. You like responsive women right? So show her you’ll be responsive. Next best is to say it, like “Mmm… I like that” or “Mmm… that’s good. Where’d you learn that?”

Also, give her clues where to go next. Enjoy but never consider what she just did the end of the road. If she touches you through your jeans, say “are you even better with real skin on skin?” or when she kisses or sucks on your finger say “I bet you’re even better when you have what you want in your mouth”. (Getting ahead of things, even coming in her mouth or on her face or wherever isn’t the end of the road. She always wants to get better. Reward her with attention, but still let her know what she could do better).

The above all happens in public, when you’re out.

Stage 4

When you’re in private, you can do the things in the posts above. If you have solid foundation, she’ll appreciate more than a light push down on her head. Sometimes when I get to my apartment, when she’s standing up I’ll push her whole body down onto her knees. If a girl is into that, she’ll look at you like she wants more. Some girls aren’t, but they’ll still like that you did it. If she liked it you can unbutton your pants sh she can take you in her mouth, while you grab the hair on the back of her head.

The point is that by now the frame is that you take oral sex for granted and it’s rewarding to her.

When she thanks you after you’ll know you did it right. Sometimes it helps to prompt her with something like “Did you enjoy that, baby?” and when she responds that she did ask playfully but seriously “And what do you say to someone who makes you feel good?”

Yeah, long post, but I like blow jobs and I don’t see any reason to conceal it. Also, I like girls enjoying blowing guys, so helping guys help girls enjoy blowing them makes the world a better place. In my opinion anyway.